I wrote this because I can’t sleep. God
knows how I tried every single way to make myself comfortable tonight. Today is
the last day of the year 2013, 3:45AM.
They say 13 is a not so lucky number. Time
is fleeting. And as I flip the pages of my personal journal, I can say that
this year passed by leaving an indelible mark in my life. Nope. Not all of them
are unlucky. In fact, I didn't believe in luck at all. At least before this
year came. If I could sum up my 2013, it was a roller-coaster ride with a two
second pause at the hundred eightieth degree of the loop.
No, this is not a recap of any travel escapades
I had from January to December. Yes, I still had a lot of those. But for this
year, since my life stumbled upon many significant challenges, I would rather
muse over the things I learned the most. I had a lot of should-have’s and
could-have-been’s I never thought I will think of. Nonetheless, it was a heck
of a blissful ride.
One Facebook status says it all, “Hindi Ka
nagkulang, Lord.” I knew then that my life would not be the same again. I knew
it was not the job I wanted to keep. I knew too that I will eventually be
living the life I am destined to have. Little did I now that in the middle of chaos, there was an organized scheme where God wanted me to go.
2013 was difficult. For some reason, I
didn't see it that way until now that I remember how things unfolded. I only
felt the hard part on the earlier months. Later on, all I can sense was a
different kind of peace, something I have never felt before. I can compare it
to the dreamlike serenity I encountered in Pangubatan, Samal Island in August.
And right now, as I write in this small apartment, I feel that everything is
back to normal, only this time, less lethargic.
It was more than the outdoor gear business
which I have longed to launched. It was more than that beach conversation with
my best buddy in March. It was more than knowing my capacity to stretch out my
heart to the point of discovering the formerly unknown areas. It was more than
being health conscious and staying fit. It was more than a new pet. This time,
every travel of the heart is noteworthy. Every single word is well-thought.
Every single action is carefully decided.
True enough, hindi Ka nagkulang, Lord. In
fact, you added some more that my cup is brimming with blessings. You turned my
weeping into dancing and filled me with great joy. After all the things I have
been through, I cannot thank You enough for keeping me safe in your arms. I
cannot think of any place, any darkness here on Earth where I can turn away
from that kind of love. Now, as I change my calendar, I will remember 2013 with all
humility and gratefulness.
