2011: Milestones and Memories

I was not able to publish my 2010 year-ender blog and in fact it is still in the drafts folder. Well, right now, I don't want just to keep them to myself. 2011 has been so good to me. A lot of things happened even outside the plans I have set to myself. Through this post, I would like to thanks the Lord for keeping me alive and giving me chances to live and not just exist. I'd like to thank Him for convincing me to come out of my shell by and by. Filled with grace, let me share with you the top ten blessings I have received this year.

10. The Climb
It was my first time to reach a mountain peak. With new friends, I experienced one of the most blissful moments of adventure and prayer at the same time. During that climb, I was able to reflect as I appreciate God's wonderful creation. I also promised to myself that I will be climbing more mountains in the future.

9. Bacchanalia
I won't really know my alcohol tolerance if not with these guys. Just kidding. I just can't help but thank the generosity of our Aussie boss for giving us the quarterly team buildings, better called Bacchanalia. LOL. Lots of my office memories are with these guys whom I consider one of the groups I'd really love to hang out with.

8. DiMAS
Last year, in my unpublished post, I expressed my longing to some of the guys I have known through the Ministry of Altar Servers. Some would even bet how sentimental I could be when my closest friend from the group entered the military last year. Well, this year has seen a lot of hope and understanding. God has paved way for me to release the grudges in my heart towards the biggest spiritual culprit I have encountered. With the success of some of the guys I have once taught as proteges, God made me realize that all the things that happened in the past were not in vain. I am also happy that for this year, we've had the more frequent reunions. Some are just instant drinking session invites.

7. Hangad Workshops
I have been entrusted to coordinate the workshops facilitated by Hangad. With this, I have notice significant growth in me not only in my relationship with Hangad but also in my personal ministry. The reason of joining the choir I have been admiring for years has been reinforced and I now accept all the challenges I will be facing with them openly and confidently. Well, I just have to work on my punctuality issues. Just as I reminded myself last year. LOL

6. Driving!
Wohoo! I can drive now! Haha... Nuff said. Thanks to Tatay even though I had to really really really convince him in every session. LOL.

5. Samuel
He is the first pet I bought and took care personally from his first month complete with all his medical needs. I have always dreamed of having a Labrador Retriever but he came in in unexpected circumstances. I just love how stresses are relieved even though he has peed in my room a number of times. With that, I can say that I am now capable of having my own baby. Just kidding.

4. Family Dinners <3
My closest friends know how cold my relationship with my father is. But this is one of my 2011 goals which I can say I have succeeded in implementing. I never missed a birthday without a family hangout. Well, as a kuya and the only one who is capable of initiating this, I am thankful that God filled me with lots of good vibes. In times when I was about to let loose of my role as panganay, God reminds me to hang on, assuring me that everything is paying off. True enough. And as I write this, I am confident to say that my family has never been well-bonded as before. More hangouts in the coming years! How about a Singapore trip next?

3. Advent Retreat
This is the best retreat I have attended so far. I think this is the most life-changing one with a powerful effect on my personal life. The lessons of desires and waiting - this weekend with Hangad is one of the most memorable moments in my life that I will always remember. And so, I shall be facing 2012 not only with an optimistic tone but a hopeful one.

2. Singapore - Kuala Lumpur Tour
No. This is not number one yet. That's how blessed I am in 2011. I am speechless. Just read my previous blog about this. God, you rock!

and tentenenen!

1. This Time With You
I am a musician. Finally, I can embrace that. From the tiring yet rewarding nights of recordings and rehearsals, this album is considered the best gift Hangad has to offer in 2011 and probably in 20 years of existence. And I am a part of it! (tears) Oh God. I am humbled by this experience. Not only have I joined the recording of an album for the second time, I was able to contribute two songs and record one solo. It's like hitting so many birds in one stone. These things are just dreams that I did not even think of making realized. I have been thinking so small and constrained about myself. Now, with this project and the encouragements of Hangad, friends and other people around me, I am finally convinced of what I am capable of doing with God's help. I bow down in awe Lord.

Just ten? Of course not. I can actually give you an endless list. Some of which might include my birthday retreat in Manaoag Pangasinan, my wedding gigs in Barasoain Church, my Guimaras-Iloilo Trip, a jingle I wrote for an episode in Maalaala Mo Kaya, dating and many more! But as of now, let me just tell you that 2012 is gonna be more blessed! So better get ready for more!

Komikon 2011

My sister with Gerry Alanguilan
signing my Elmer book

On November 19, I got introduced to Komikon, an annual convention for Comic artists in the Philippines. I was never really a Comics fan but a couple of weeks before that, I bumped into Wasted, a Comic series created by Gerry Alanguilan. Getting hooked, the next thing I know, I was googling some more of Pinoy comic artists especially those who made it (unknowingly to many Filipinos) to the international scene.

My sister asked me to accompany her to Komikon 2011. There were many booths selling their stuff and some well-known comics were discounted. I bought some comics from the seasoned artists and tons from the indies. My sister told me that it would be a great idea for us to have a booth next year. Why not? It would be so much fun to add something unexpected on my bucket list for next year.

Total Lunar Eclipse Happening Now - Last One Until 2014

If you are reading this post on the 10th of December 2011 or dawn of the next day, you are just in time to witness the last Total Lunar Eclipse to happen until 2014. Good thing I happened to bumped into NatGeo site and learned about the news just tonight.

This astronomical event will be visible in East Asia, Australia, and the far western pat of North America including Alaska and Canada. For more information kindly visit the NatGeo site.

Seven Day Tour in Singapore and Kuala Lumpur

Day One - Singapore

Another ‘first times’ this year! Today, I just had my first steps outside the Philippines. First time in the City of Merlion and first time to join Biyaheng Hangad. In the last eight hours of stay here, I can say that I am in love with the place not just because of its beauty but also because of the balance that I see. Everything is in order. People abide with the law and everything is in proper place. It’s my first time to ride in a two-deck public bus. LOL. That’s too trivial. Anyway, here are some of the observations I had on my first day here.

First, the one you’ll see first – the airport! As we all know, it was recently dubbed as the best airport in the world. It has lots of stuff in it! It serves free WI-FI, massage seats and free tourist guides. It is comparably bigger than NAIA. I thought it was the best. I was told we alight at Terminal 1 which is actually 30 years old. The best airport as they say is the Terminal 3. Maybe next time I’ll be able to get the feel of it. I can only imagine how tourist friendly it could be.

Chicken Rice

Second, the Hawker Place! FOOD! I first tried the Chicken Rice! It’s awesome! And for how much? $3. Pretty much like the price of a meal in Manila. Only that it has bigger serving and probably a dash of awesomeness. I was also able to taste some South Asian food and they are all great! You’ll thought that it was a bit expensive in the first place but I don’t think you’ll still feel the same once you find out that you cannot actually consume the meal alone. Thanks be to God for giving me such talented stomach. Everything seems to fit. BTW, we also had Apple Frocaccio and Strawberry Cake from a Swiss Bakery in Somerset. I bought the former for $2.

Third, the transport system. It is almost impossible to get lost in Singapore. Maps, fare lists, and route guides are everywhere! They even have the computed number of minutes of your trip from any point to another. All rides are punctual. You think that’s cool? Well, they have a synchronized card system which you can use in buses and trains. Hmm… I’m a Manila commuter and today, I wonder when can EDSA achieve such order.

The New English Liturgy

Fourth, the Church. From the impeccable sound system to the liturgical setting of the sanctuary and other sacramental vessels, everything seems to fit right. But one thing really caught my attention. It is this red book. They are already using the revised liturgy. When will it be implemented again in the Philippines? They say next next liturgical year. Good luck to 1,701 islands. I hope the Catholic Church in the Philippines is as organized as this. Singaporean Catholics seem to be really well catechized considering the number of churchgoers today, Thursday. BTW, all the seats have hymnals, missals, reading guides and books of prayers.

That’s it for now. I’m sure I will have lots of things to write about in the next six days.

Day Two - Singapore

Baby Merlion

Tired and fulfilled. It’s just the second day and I am loving this place more and more. This morning, I woke up before seven even without an alarm. For those who know me, this is very unusual. My phone’s battery was drained and I haven’t got any converter for the electric socket yet. As I borrow one from a choirmate, leaving my phone in my room, I headed out on my own after a little bite in the retreat house. I called up some friends. I also called my cousin who is actually free today and on Sunday so he agreed to meet me up. The last time I saw him, according to him, was when I was three. I thought I’ve never seen him before. His place was a bit distant from ours so I waited for him at the Hawker Place. I bought an adapter for just S$1.5 and got myself a soy bean drink for 10 cents. It’s like taho in the Philippines but they have variations here. You may get it as milk on hot or cold or as a curd. And it’s even way too plenty for me! Just less than a litre it is. And how much is our taho again? I don’t know how come soy milk is really cheap here when Singaporeans don’t grow it locally. If I live here, I think I can manage to sustain the gym program I have been wanting to do. LOL. Soy milk at 10 cents.

One Dollar Ice Cream

My cousin arrived but I only had an hour and a half left before I had to go back for our sound check. Amazingly, even with just the public transport to rely on, I had a great time strolling around City Hall, Esplanade, Merlion Park, Fullerton Rd. That Marina Bay is simply spectacular. It was just really a quick roam, just a taste of Central Singapore yet I already feel overwhelmed. It makes me ask, “Are there eyesores in Singapore?” My cousin told me how Filipinos cope with the Singaporean way of life. And based on how I comfortably woke up this morning, and how I earn even just being in the Philippines, I would love to stay for a few months or years to earn and save here before I plan to settle down. He said, working in a place like this is perfect for bachelors but not for a family man. We bought a $1 dollar ice cream which is a piece of heaven and got back to the retreat house for my next appointment. 

Day Three - Singapore

October 29 is the date and I think this is the most tiring so far. The explorer instinct within me was activated. I roamed the city by myself. I strolled around Chinatown and had some unnecessary walk along Alexandra Rd with only a map in my hand. MRT was my best friend today.

Hindu Temple

In Chinatown, I was able to get good deals of Singaporean pasalubong. I entered the Golden Buddha Tooth Temple and passed by the mosque and a Sanskrit temple. I also went to Chinatown complex and New Ridge Center. Bought myself a braised duck meal (which is the first thing I didn’t like in Singapore) and sugarcane juice for lunch and walked around the vicinity until I reached the next MRT station which is at Outram Park. I wasn’t exhausted enough so while I was there, I thought of checking out IKEA, which I really didn’t know where on Singapore it is. The only clue I got from a friend was that it’s near Queenstown Station. True enough it was near. Just a little than 800 meters? The time was 1:30 PM. I wasn’t able to catch my Hangad friends there so I decided to go home. For some reason, my E-Z link card wouldn’t work in the bus so I walked back to the MRT station, same distance. My footwork exercises in the Philippines had really made sense today.

Golden Buddha Tooth Temple

It’s practice time before the mass and the last show. I was really having a hard time as the expected headache came. After some pizza, we were given an hour to prepare. I tried to sleep for thirty minutes. And it happened again. I woke up after an hour. Yikes. I came in during the Gospel reading. As expected, got a bit bullied again for sleeping so close before the call time. My head felt a bit better though. I was just feeling uneasy with my choirmates who got stressed by my carelessness. Can’t believe I did it in Singapore.

Anyway, my perky vibe got back in the middle of the show. The mini-concert was said to sound better than yesterday. It was well-received as well. More Filipinos watched compared to yesterday which was attended by different nationalities.

After the show, we ate at the Lao Fa Sat. We had a couple of Singaporean and other Asian dishes like Prata, Satay, Dereal Shrimp, Kway Teow, Chilli Crab, Kai Lan, Crispy Squid, and more. I couldn’t believe there was still about a cup of rice and some of the other dishes left in front of me. I usually don’t leave until the plate is empty. Before we went back to the retreat house, four of us decided to have some coffee. A choirmate gave us a treat. The coffee we had was so tasteful! It was strong and really tastes good. After some chats, we got a cab. Uncle (the way Singaporeans call manong” played Anak by Freddie Aguilar. All of us were singing in the cab. Uncle told us about how he likes other Asian passengers more than the Singaporeans. LOL. Other races, according to him, were less materialistic.

Right now, I am packing my stuff for Malaysia. Tomorrow, I’ll join my choir for the last time at the Botanic Garden before I meet up my cousin who will accompany me to the airport to meet up my travel partner to Malaysia. I feel so lucky enough for having my cousin in Singapore. It feels better if your companion is a relative. Today, I think of bringing my family here in the future or at least my sister in the coming months. It’s really easy to be a tourist here. 

Day Four - Singapore

Writing on the long bus ride here in Malaysia, I am compelled to kill the time left. We still have around 2-3 hours on this trip to Kuala Lumpur City Center. I have had enough sleep earlier on the same spot inside this double deck tourist bus. It feels safe to bring out my laptop.

Father and son at the Botanic Gardens

Yesterday was a Park Day for me. On our last day at the retreat house, I joined some of my choirmates at the Botanic Gardens for some walk after the breakfast. The park is huge. We only get to see the one fourth of it. It was 10 in the morning and it was really hot so we gave up touring the whole thing.  But on that fraction of the place, I was able to see how nature friendly Singapore is. There are many birds flying, ducks feasting on the food from the visitors, Labradors playing and doves flocking near the people. The animals in Singapore do not feel threatened by the presence of any human. No one frightens or shoos them away. Also, we tried the foot reflexology path. It felt painful in the beginning but really relaxing after walking with your bare feet on the path of stones.

We went back to the retreat house because we needed to check out by 11:00 AM. Surrendering the room keys, I passed by the Loyola Novitiate house where I saw a beautiful rosary the other day which I wanted to buy. Still, there was no one in the room so I tried my luck at the Parish Shop but I didn’t get to see the same item. Still with my luggage case and two other bags, I went back to the Novitiate house. I really wanted the rosary for my collection. There were so many people in the parish because of the Migrants’ Sunday celebration. Fortunate enough, I saw Father James! Squeezing between people of different races, I was able to get close to him and asked him if someone can take my payment for the item. I told him nobody was there. To my surprise, he said I could take whatever I want without needing to leave any dollar. Filled with gratitude, I was excited as I went inside to get my new rosary.

A beautiful addition
to my collection

I met up with my cousin at Kembangan Station. The plan was, I will leave my luggage in his place so I may bring only my backpack for my Malaysia trip. Before going to Changi Airport to meet up with my friend who will be coming with me to Kuala Lumpur, Kuya Eli brought me to Bedok where lots of good deals are. Ahah! Another place to shop the next time I get back to Singapore. I love it how I learn a lot about the practical side of Singapore every single day.

He accompanied me to Changi Budget terminal. It was then I realized how big Changi Aiport is as we ride a free shuttle going to other terminals. In McDonald’s Changi, I ordered Horlicks. I think it’s the sweetest food I’ve had in Singapore. My friend went with his relatives as I joined Kuya Eli back home. We just decided to meet up at the Merlion Park in the evening. I rested as Kuya Eli did his laundry.

The Jesuit Novices' living room
where Hangad stays for breakfast.

It was dinner time so Kuya Ely and I dropped by the nearest Hawker Place. Good Lord, why is the Hawker Place so lovely? I had three dishes and two cups of rice. Sobrang sarap! Tsk. I had a tofu dish, another gluten like strips of vegies which I didn’t understand the name when I asked uncle, and a baked dory which the Singaporean vendor simply called fish. Two cups of rice topped with curry! Yum! And if I remember it right, we only spent around $6 for the whole thing.

I met up with my friend to plan our Malaysian trip. In a few minutes, the Marina Bay Sands show started! There were dancing lights and wonderful music! I couldn’t get my eyes on the triplet buildings as it tries to fill every second with different kinds of neon lights and dramatic sounds.

After taking pictures again at the Merlion Park, this time even more spectacular with the night skyscraper background, we headed to Makasuntra, the Halal Food place beside Esplanade. Oh food again. Thanks to the relatives of my friend. Kuya Ely and I took the bus going home to kill time. We walked a longer route this time. Just enough to burn the thousands of calories. LOL. I slept comfortably in his room.

Day Five - Malaysia

Traveled from Singapore to Kuala Lumpur in 7 hours total. Hmm… It really felt like the Philippines from the view on the roads, to the cautions. LOL. Actually, I appreciate my country better now. The Philippines has a lot of potential than some of the countries around it. Sorry for spoiling. Now let’s focus on my first day in Malaysia.

A view from the hotel door

We took the bus from Kranji, Singapore. It has three stops for immigration purposes which makes sure also that all passengers are secured. It is a really easy way and also very cheap. You will just use your E-Z Link Card from Singapore and will charge you the same regular rates in the city buses. Passengers will be dropped off to Larkin Station in Johol Bahru Malaysia. We have been warned about the pickpockets in this place so we carry our backpacks in front of us. Reminds me of Quiapo. Anyway, from there, we rode a luxury bus for only MYR31. Pretty convenient. I was able to use my laptop without fear because the few passengers in the bus seemed to be tourists and businessmen.

We arrived in Kuala Lumpur around 4 in the afternoon. They have this really big bus terminal which seemed to be an airport at first sight. We took the train from there going to Plaza Rakyat. When we got off, we decided to go to a food court since it was raining very hard. My first impression of Malaysia wasn’t that really good. The vendors are not  that approachable and seemed to be only aiming to get money from the customers. I tried the Malaysian Laksa. I was disappointed.

The rain stopped and we got ourselves a hotel for only 75MYR. The room for two is already airconditioned, with bathroom and WIFI. After resting a bit and planning our KL itinerary, we headed to our first stop – the Petronas Towers. It was magnificent. The lights make it really appear elegant and beautiful. The only think I notice is that aside from taking pictures at the park in front of it, there’s nothing  more to do unlike the way things are in Singapore where spaces and business opportunities are being maximized. There’s a shopping mall under the twin towers and also some food shop reminding me of Eastwood City in the Philippines. We also passed by the KLCC or the convention center and the park in front of it. The next thing we wanted to do was to go back to the hotel and take a bite.

The tallest twin towers in the world.

Near the hotel is the central market. There’s a Malaysian eatery that serves authentic Malaysian food. I finally tried Thosai. I got the egg and onion flavor along with my dinner, Fish Mesala and Rice in Curry. I miss Singapore. LOL. Malaysia’s spices are a bit over my tolerance. I didn’t finish my meal. The Thosai was good. It could have been better if they used white onions just like in Singapore instead of the regular violet ones.

Tomorrow, I am looking forward to a more memorable Malaysian stop as we go to Batu Caves. I also hope I can find a Malaysian Rosary somewhere.

Day Six - Malaysia

Time Zone is just the same as in the Philippines but rush hour here starts at 8am. Why? Because sun rises later in Kuala Lumpur than in Manila due to the Geographical location. As planned, we woke up early for our first destination for the day which is the Batu Caves. Phobic of the Hawker food, we took our breakfast at KFC just a few steps from our hotel room. Afterwards, we got our bus tickets for Singapore reserved at TBS-BTS, a bus terminal which looks better than some airports I’ve seen.

Garlands for the temple altar

The way to Batu Caves is now more convenient than ever. With just MYR2, you can get straight to the last station of the Sentul-Batu Caves Komuter Line. But you might like to allow a time allowance to wait because the train going to Batu Caves passes only every thirty minutes.

It has been such a big relief to see the caves in front of you. The magnificent nature’s work of art is simply stunning. There are three major caves on site. The main cave or the Temple Cave is the spot’s main attraction with its 273 steps of staircase right before the cave gate. This main cave doesn’t’ charge the tourists for entrance fee. Monkeys are everywhere. It also seemed that they reign in the place. Why? People witnessed how one of them stole the banana inside a bag of fruits carried by a tourist couple. Freaky primates.

The Temple Cave and the
Golden Statue of Lord Muruga

There are also other caves like the Dark Cave, which charges around 20MYR for a guided tour. Since it is dark, you really need one. It smells funny from the outside so we spared ourselves with the 20MYR. Another cave which was closed when we get there is the Ramayana Cave. We only made it to the temple at the façade of the site. The whole cave was closed for some so called maintenance. I don’t know how they do that that they have to close the whole thing.

Beware of these monkeys

Another attraction on site is the Villa Cave which charges the tourists for 15MYR. A lot of animal species are inside including snakes. Except the main cave, we didn’t get inside the other caves so we made it before 11:00 AM, just enough for us to travel back to our hotel for our 12:00 NN check out. We had meal at KFC again. We ordered their version of the fried chicken in Tom Yum flavor. We decided to go to the Central Market for some shopping since we didn’t like the items in Chinatown last night. We spent few hours shopping and window shopping. Some items are really good so I had some more of my peso changed. It’s a bit more expensive in Central Market but the choices are better. Some Malay vendors know how to speak Tagalog because many Filipino tourists opt to purchase their souvenirs in the place. Malay products are much like that in the Philippines so it was really hard to get stuff that can’t be found in Manila. Actually, their products are generally Asian crafts and foods.

The culture is generally a mixture of Indian and Islam. That is probably the reason why I can’t seem to find the item I always look for in a place, the Rosary. We asked the Central Market receptionist where the nearest Catholic Church is located. She pointed us to Saint Mary Cathedral which is five minute walk from the Central Market. Upon talking to the receptionist, we grabbed another map and to our surprise, it’s the official tourist map of the city. Hence, from that point, we were able to go to the nearby tourists spots like the Independence Square, St Mary Cathedral, Kuala Lumpur Gallery, St. John Church and other nearby spots. It rained hard again so we decided to try KL Sentral. We didn’t know it was just a central terminal. LOL. When the rain subsided, we went back to Central Market to dine in their food court.

We learned how we lost a lot of opportunity to have the taste of real Malaysian food. They cost the same outside but the food court offers better options and wider varieties. I tried the Ayam Goreng Berempah Set which is a spiced chicken meal with nuts, anchovies and weird coconut rice. LoL. At least, in that place, spice is optional. You’re rice won’t be topped by blazing curry sauce unlike what I experience last night. We met a Filipino who was dining alone. He was attending a training in the business district of Kuala Lumpur and will go back in Manila after five days.

Ayam Goreng Berempa

The time has come for us to leave Kuala Lumpur. Somehow, I felt attached to the place. Or maybe it’s just my personal sentimental complex. LOL. We headed to the TBS-BTS, the airport-like bus station and took the last few shots of the city from my cellphone.

We boarded the bus on time. The lazy boy bus for 45RM per passenger is such a big comfort. It has a massage mechanism for all the seats. To our surprise, we arrived earlier than expected. In four hours, we were already in Beach Road. We waited for the MRT station in Lavender Road which opened at 5:30 AM.

Day Seven - Singapore

Last day of my first Asian trip. We arrived earlier than expected so we had to wait for an hour to catch the first train. My travel partner and I parted ways at Lavender Road Station. I was able to get to Kuya Eli’s house in Kembangan in no time. Clutching my backpack in the sofa, I subconsciously dozed off. I just woke up with my cousin preparing the longganisa for breakfast.

Dhoby Ghout Station

He accompanied me to Mustafa to shop for my pasalubong. I got good deals for all the family members and close friends apart from the stuff I bought from Kuala Lumpur’s Central Market and Singapore’s Chinatown. The Mustafa burger was perfect for lunch.

Kuya Ely insisted to go to Sentosa despite the chance of me being late for my Manila flight. In fairness, I never regretted taking the chance. The Sentosa center is beautiful. The Sentosa Island was even more spectacular. We rode the monorail going to the island. I was not able to enter the Universal Studios but I already had a foresight of bringing my family in that place. After some picture taking, while carrying all the Mustafa stuff, we went home. I had to get a cab to catch my flight on time. I was just more than an hour earlier.

Mustafa Burger

Much can be said about this experience of mine. All the first time I had in this trip was very memorable. But aside from the desire of going back to Singapore for more shopping and strolling, I also made up my mind to travel within our own archipelago to discover the Philippine beauty. The first thing I did when I came back? Plan my Mindanao and Cebu backpacking adventure in February. My Malaysia experience was such an unfolder. It makes me wonder why Philippines don’t get the tourism limelight in spite of the strategic geographical location within the region and the undeniably impeccable natural beauty.

Agnus Dei

Bilang lingkod ng dambana mula taong 1997, marami na akong  napaglingkurang pari at obispo. Ang ilan sa mga una kong napaglingkurang misa ay ang kina Bp. Tom Yalung at yumaong Jaime Cardinal Sin. May ilang pari rin akong gustong-gustong paglingkuran gaya nina Fr. Godwin Tatlonghari, Fr. Dave Concepcion, Fr. Anton Pascual, Fr. Carlo Magno Marcelo, Fr. Rolly Garcia at maraming pang iba na kapag may schedule sa aming parokya ay inaabangan ko. Mahuhusay sila magsermon. Masigla, kauna-unawa at kaala-alala. Higit sa lahat, hindi nila minamadali ang misa. Bawat salitang lumalabas sa kanilang bibig ay pinaghahandaan at bawat letrang binabasa sa Missal ay ninanamnam bago inuusal nang may damdamin.

Ayoko ng madaliang misa. Madalas iniiwasan ko ang misa ng paring parang may hinahabol na lakad sa bilis magsalita. Ang Banal na Misa ang pinagkukunan ko ng lakas kaya naman nais kong sulit ang pag-upo ko nang isang oras o kahit higit pa. Minsan masining pa ang pagbabasa ng pari ng Panalangin ng Pagpupuri at Pasasalamat o Eucharistic Prayer. Gustong gusto ko ito kapag naihahatid ng pari sa mga mananampalataya ang senaryo ng Huling Hapunan. Bukod dito, may isa akong paboritong bahagi ng misa kung saan para sa akin nararapat lang maging madamdamin. Ito ay ang paghahati-hati ng Katawan ni Kristo at pag-awit ng Kordero ng Diyos.

Bukod sa Ama Namin, sa pag-awit ng Kordero ng Diyos na ata pinakamalakas ang sambayanan. Dumadagundong ang simbahan sa iisang tinig ng mga nagsisimba. Mas nabibigyang-diin na ang yugtong iyon ay para sa bayan. Kapag binabanggit ng kaibigan kong pari na si Fr. Orlin Ordoña ang mga katagang, “Ito ang Kordero ng Diyos...”, nakikita ko si Kristo na inaalay ang Kanyang sarili para tayo’y mabuhay. Marubdob. Madamdamin. Masimbuyo. Damang-dama Mong si Kristo ang tinatanggap mo sa Komunyon.

Sa tingin ko, kapag ang isang bagay o gawain ang pinagkukunan mo ng lakas, nararapat lamang na bigyan ito ng karampatang panahon. Ang pagrerecharge  ay may akmang oras na hindi dapat nauudlot upang mas maging mabisa.

Kung pipili tayo ng pagkukunan ng lakas, piliin natin ang paraan kung saan mas magiging sulit ang panahong iyon. Sa kapaguran ba naman ng bawat araw natin, bakit pa natin mamadaliin ang kaunting panahong makausap natin ang Diyos?

Finally Moving Forward

Since the time I gave up my ministry in Maria Reyna ng mga Apostoles Parish, a lot of things related to my former protégés had been following me. Certainly it is because we have journeyed together on our teenage years and somehow we are connected as brothers. Since I was their leader, most of my members were younger than me. And some, even if I was only few months older than them, were fond to call me kuya. I loved being a big brother to them perhaps because of my longing for my little brother who passed away when I was in grade school.

When I decided to leave for the common good, I admit having a hard time to keep myself out of the MRA track. These dudes kept their connections with me as if everything were normal. We still hanged out a lot and talk a lot of church stuff, only that few annoyances to the new church administration were added. I tried to keep myself under the grace of prudence though I admit, just because being the one downcast, I slipped a lot of times. During those days, I was in the pit of hatred so I sometimes ended up expressing bitter words, subconsciously worsening the devastated emotions of my younger brothers for losing their only way of being at the church.

I tried to establish a group for the former altar servers of MRA. It went fine in the first few months but in less than a year, I had to tell myself that it was not working. The main activity that kept us intact was serving at the altar. We can act as a charismatic prayer group or a contemplative circle of friends visiting the adoration chapel after jogging, but deep inside we knew, we miss the service. And even now, on the third year since the advent of the big change occurred, I know in my heart how we still love to be the respected liturgical team of servers of the parish.

We were lost. Some of us still are. In that few months of parting ways, many things transpired. Without me noticing, the once gradeschoolers are now in college while some are out of school. Some former protégés have graduated and are enjoying the beginning of their career while some became young fathers. Some are yuppies now while some are unemployed and even worse, look for a way to have milk for their babies.

During the time of confusion, I kept asking myself why such things had to happen which took me the chance to at least rectify what could have been wrong with my adolescent members’ minds. I even blamed myself for some unknown reasons. Anyone from the group could attest how I could get myself involved with the personal lives of these people and sometimes intrude even the most private details of their family predicaments during my altar boy headship. My intentions as a leader then were so unpredictable leading to my unnecessary moves and even putting myself into unexpected troubles sometimes. That was how I use to put my heart in every situation concerning them. So it was really hard for me knowing that I was not there for these guys when I should be helping them or at least hearing their stories. My morale had been so low for the last two years. When I left MRA, it felt as if I left my sense of purpose. It was the community where I planted my roots, where I grew and where I put all my teenage time and energy. It felt bad that I forgot the good sides of my experiences.

I think the bad energy started to wear out last week. Yeah. After a very long time of convincing myself that my seven years of leading the group didn’t go in vain even after all the details of the former group were erased from the name and the members up to the least significant detail of the logo, I finally told myself, it’s ok. Good Lord, that is the reason I can now blog about it. Even after the entire busy schedule with different organizations and communities, it had been haunting me. Even after dramatically producing more evident ministry outcomes than before, it had been haunting me. Even after the physical and moral changes, it had been haunting me. Yeah. Because the mere reason of every transformation I tried to do was still that gradual acceptance of my fate out of my beloved parish. It was the hardest habit to break. It was even harder than the feeling of first break up.

And how it changed last week? I had these two conversations with two former protégés. One is now a cadet in the Philippine Military Academy, whom I consider the closest friend that I have, and the second one is a seminarian, graduating a Philosophy degree in Ateneo De Manila. It takes an overnight with each of these guys to remind me how I have been blessed to be a part of their lives. They started as altar servers and now they are being trained in their chosen fields to help the society. Now, do I have to doubt God’s way of using people?

My lame days started to become perky again. I began waking up early to bathe my dog and go to the office ahead of time. I now go home early to do my personal stuff. I updated my wall calendar just as I used to do back then. I jogged and realigned my schedule once again. Just when I saw myself not doing any good, God sent two messengers to tell me how glad He was for the worthwhile sacrifices I did during my MRAP years. God has a perfect timing. Just two weeks ago, I was weeping in the Adoration Chapel asking for the grace of clarity which had been lost since 2008. When I asked Him why He put me in such confusion of not knowing what my life’s purpose now is, he made me remember how great His plans are for plotting everything that happened in the past, as if reassuring me that more surprises are on their way.

And last week was an unexpected gift. Yes there are still questions but He gave me endorphins to trigger positivity and continue searching for that very thing I have to discover in life. I may still experience low moments ahead in this endeavor. But sure enough, I know I can be more hopeful now, knowing that God has a lot more in store for me.

You Know Me Well

Rain may wash the old me away

And unfold a bare new being of today

I think I’m lost, and doomed to fail

But I don’t have to argue, you know me well

I’m new; I’ve changed that’s what I say

With bulky burdens that made me stray

I know I’m nothing good as yesterday

But then I trust you for you know me well

I thought there's nowhere to go for now

Confused by the noise, I forgot somehow

The path I chose have made me hurt and fell

But now I don’t mind ‘cause you know me well

Now I got to pick myself again and try

I hope that I get the answers to all the whys

But while I don’t I should keep myself together

I believe in what you say, you know me well.

911

I just came home from school. I was a junior high time. There was nobody at home so I got myself something to eat for dinner and turned on the TV. Browsing the channels, I was baffled by this video being shown on a business channel. "This is strange", I thought. Stuff like this are shown on HBO not CNBC. I stared at the television set for a few minutes more and horrified as I was, I am not sure if I was going to continue eating. The next thing I know, I was teary-eyed, praying that it would end soon.

The images are still in my head right now as if it happened just yesterday. So vivid. So perplexing. It was horrible, unimaginable. Today, as America commemorates the 10th Anniversary of the 911 bombing, we join them in praying for justice and peace. May we let God show his mercy and power to everyone affected by the tragedy especially to the family and relatives of the victims.

                                             Photo owned by BBC News (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/in-pictures-14872517)

Pagtatapat ng Isang Tagahimig

Kung hindi man sasapat ang paghimig,

hayaang buhay ko'y sa 'Yo maiawit.

Hindi ko na lubos maalala kung paano kumalabit sa isip ko ang mga titik na ito. Tipikal na araw iyon. Habang naghihintay na maikabit ang mga pyesa ng bagong kompyuter na binili ay minabuti ko nang mananghali muna sa isang malapit na kainan. Nilabas ko ang kwaderno at isinatinta ang mga linyang patula na nangungulit sa aking diwa ilang minuto na. Para sa apat na saknong, kapos pa sa ibig kong porma upang lumapat sa damdamin ng himig na matagal nang nagsusumigaw sa isang sulok ng aking kaisipan. "Aayusin ko na lang sa bahay." Sabi ko sa sarili ko.

Tulad ng usang uhaw sa tubig ng batis,

Ang aking kaluluwa sa 'Yo'y nananabik.

Nakapananariwang manalangin sa awit ng aking Unang Pakikinabang. Sa tuwing ako'y nagsisimba at ito ang kinakanta ng koro, nanunumbalik nang bigla ang apoy ng paghahangad na paglingkuran Siya. Siya na pinangakuan kong magiging matalik kong kaibigan buhat pa noong nasa ikalimang baitang pa lang ako. "As the deer..." ang himig ng mga paslit na tinig, umaawit na para kang pinaaalalahanang Siya ang una kong inasam bago pa man dumating ang maraming bagay sa aking buhay.

Hindi ko alam kung paano nangyari ang lahat. Naging bahagi ako ng korong sa dalumat ko lang tinangkang sabayang awitan. Nakatagpo ako ng mga taong nagustuhan ang mga himig ko. Napabilang ako sa isang pangkat ng magkakaibigang patuloy na nagpapaalala na sa kabila ng pagdududa ko sa aking sarili, naniniwala ang Diyos sa akin. Napasama ako sa mga taong nagsabing, "Sumulat ka pa nang marami!" sa panahong halos pinaslang ko na ang paniniwalang kapos ang aking kayang ibigay bilang manunulat at mang-aawit.

Sa pagbubunsod ng ikawalong album ng Hangad, maraming nabuksan sa akin. Saklaw nito hindi lamang ang pagiging mang-aawit at kompositor ko kundi maging ang pagiging tao sa kabuuan. Nanood ang mga tao ng dalawang konsiyerto. Nagbilihan ng kani-kaniyang sipi ng album. Ako naman, sa huling nota ng pangwakas na awitin, babaunin ko ang mga pagkatuto sa mga susunod na proyekto. Narinig ko na at naangkin ang mga salita ng Panginoon sa minsan naming pag-uusap. "Sapat ang biyaya ko para sa iyo kaya huwag mo itong pagdudahan."

Excited!

I just got a very good news I have been praying for so long. A friend posted a link naming the short-listed applicants for the 2nd Elements National Singing and Songwriting Camp (http://7101musicnation.com.ph/news/shortlist). I was so happy when I learned this. I was in the office though so I wasn't able to shout it out. LOL. Right now I am just very excited for the audition. We're 60 in the list and they're taking only 30 participants from the songwriting category. I do hope that you'll be praying with me so I may make it to this camp. One more step and I'm in!

Oh Lord You are marvelous.

Kanugon

Sayang.

What word in English corresponds to this exactly? That is how I feel for not writing experiences for the past few months. Yeah I am always busy but it's not worth missing it if you know your stories are meant to be shared.

I wasn't able to write since March. That means I missed narrating my Easter Season activities when I shifted my ministry focus to Hangad. I didn't write about the MAS-MRAP Reunion which is the highlight of my Holy Week.  The Holy Week itself! Oh God this is too much for being late.

Two office team buildings have passed. The singing workshop. The wedding gigs. The start of This Time With You album recording. M two songs in the album. My first recorded solo. The Microsourcing Mardi Gras. The Punta Fuego R&R. My trip to Guimaras Island which marked my many firsts. The workshops Hangad conducted in three parishes already. My first billiard experience. My driving lessons. My new pet Samuel. The psalm I wrote and sing for St. Philomena. The first jingle I sold to a TV show. My first mountain peak. My first ice skating experience. My new friends from Singles for Family and Life. The release of This Time With You cd and songbook. My comeback to serving at the altar after months of recording. The concert last week which was a blast. My new compositions from the melodies springing up while climbing the mountain, staring blankly at the bus window, and while taking my dog for a walk. I also wanted to write about the Filipino language. Also about the current socio-political issues.

Ok. Tonight. I mean Today, September 8. I promise to write all that is worth sharing in this blog. Be it in conversational Filipino, trying hard Hiligaynon or Kiniray-a, casual English or poetic Tagalog, I shall not hesitate to write again. I should have known that an artist's discipline is writing at least a line or two everyday. I have forgotten being an artist for quite a while. It should not happen again.

Life is a celebration. Life is joyful! Ang imo nga kalipayon, imo nga ihatag. (Is this a correct Hiligaynon, Ma?) :p

Why do we fast and abstain?

You walk because you know where you are going. You reach for something with your hand, eat your favourite dessert and watch your much-loved primetime series. We do things because we think. And this combination of thought, memory, emotion, imagination and will are proofs that man is not only a mortal being but a spiritual one connected into something greater than what we see and feel. In fact, we think first before we even move our body. Our physical being, ideally, obeys what the human spirit commands.

This proves that our spiritual nature is superior to the body. Lucifer knows this. And this is the root of his envy. As a light-bearer, he knew that the immaterial should be greater than the material. He could not accept God’s order that angels should serve man, especially bow down to the mortal form of God, Jesus Christ. His envy turned to rage that he decided to destroy material creation by tempting the greatest masterpiece of The Almighty, man. This is the reason why temptation exists, to mutilate the race of man.

How is this connected with today’s liturgy? We, as mortal beings, are confined to this world of temptation. Human as we are, we tend to follow what our body wants first before considering what our spirit commands. And this is how we let Satan ruin our lives, when we let our worldly desires prevail. The ash on the forehead is simply but a reminder that this life is temporary, that we are spiritual being first, a concept that was realized when God, out of His abounding generosity, let us live. Fasting and abstinence stress that it is not the body that is greater than the soul. Our spirit dictates what our body should do, not the other way around. If we decide to do the latter, we let Satan ruin us because he can only destroy our being through our material nature. This, I think, is the message of self-denial for the Lenten season: To tame our bodies that it may follow what the soul desires.

In this forty day journey of fasting, prayer and alms-giving, may our prayer be like the song of David after Prophet Nathan rebuked him.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
 Do not cast me from your presence
   or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

                         (Psalm 51:7-9 - New International Version)

Michael Voris, Jason Evert and The Battle Against Catholic Zombies

Talking about Christian reinforcement? Aside from my favorite Father Robert Barron, why not try Michael Voris and Jason Evert? I have always loved my Catholic faith with all its wonderful doctrines but these two speakers add so much spices to it that really blew me away. They just had their separate series of talks here in the Philippines and I just can't contain the enjoyment of listening to them so I'd rather write this entry.

Michael Voris on Truth and Dare Conference

Michael Voris is one of the most articulate doctrinal speaker there is. An Emmy award winning news reporter, he surely has that power to bring forth a deeper understanding of the faith responding to a range of trivial questions about basic religious instructions up to profound inquiries on apologetics. The best thing about this guy is that he strikes the mere legion of darkness inside the Church! And he does it with so much eloquence. No wonder some clergy doesn't like him. Or should I say, some clergy hate him. This man can actually make me believe that reincarnation can be a Catholic thing. Why? I think he is the John the Baptism of this generation. And we really need one.

Nat with Jason Evert

Now, who thinks chastity talks are full of clichéd arguments by old-fashioned speakers? Well, you better try Jason Evert. He has the most gifted tongue on issues of sex, marriage, relationships, vocation and morality. Holding a masters degree in theology, this guy is sure to rock your world with his gift of spontaneous words. He gives a barrel of laughs yet you might not notice how easily he brings you that awe feeling in every minute of his talk. If you are planning to hear his stories, expecting a preachy don't-do-this-because piece, you are in for a big surprise. He is usually accompanied by her wife Crystalina, also a very gifted chastity speaker. I have  just attended Jason Evert's last talk, in this particular tour, here in the Philippines and I got one word for him: Awesome!


I have always been in loved with Roman Catholicism. And even as I may fall into the lure of secularism, at least I know God's prophets of this new generation are just a click away. You may catch Michael Voris on www.theonetruefaith.tv and http://realcatholictv.org/. And of course check out Jason Evert's talks in faith and entertainment combo on www.chastity.com and www.catholic.com.

A Call for Another Revolution: An EDSA Baby’s Point of View

Everything transpired from February 22-25, 1986. And I feel proud being born on that fateful Saturday, the first day of the historical peaceful revolution that surprised the world and inspired other nations. I have been taught about the values, spirit and stories behind those photos of tanks, praying nuns, barricading civilians, yellow ribbons, and other spine-tingling images of those days. My mother told me that my Tatay wanted to join the rally but she was due that day and we were based in Olongapo then. So while my mom was in the hospital to deliver her first born, the rest of the Filipinos are marching in the streets, braving the circumstances of another make or break scenario as one people.

On its first anniversary, my family went to Manila to celebrate with fellow Filipinos. I can’t remember it vividly but pictures show yellow ribbons everywhere. My mother has been the passionate one in telling wonderful stories behind those pictures. During the Mount Pinatubo eruption, we had to transfer to Makati where I spent most of my childhood years. I was in the fourth grade when I received a good news. All the EDSA babies were called as a part of the 11^th anniversary celebration. I had this jubilant feeling not only for being one of those few privileged kids, but basically because of the patriotic upbringing I had. We had a tour inside Malacañang, had lunch with the President at Libingan ng mga Bayani, and had a cozy seat during the program in Camp Crame. It felt ecstatic! I was in awe.

People who took part in that significant event might share all the most memorable experiences with all the emotions streaming in every intensely epitomized encounter written. And yet, you feel that no single word could really embody that ardent spirit when you try reading the accounts on how people prayed, how soldiers got off the tanks, how they felt the Blessed Mother’s guidance, etc. It was an event of high hopes in the hearts of every nationalistic Filipino. It was an unexpected unity of people from different walks of life. It was a proof of how Filipinos are capable of doing.

Today, we celebrate that very day, a quarter of century ago, when we were able to topple a dictator. For me, EDSA People Power still has the same message over the years. It proved that Filipinos are able to carry out the mission of transformation. And that event happened because each individual who participated, decided for himself and stood for what he thought was better for him and for the nation. Transformation comes from within. It is a decision. We can still go to the streets together but that would not change anything considering the present context. Thus, if we want change, we are called for another revolution on a different level. Change in this nation happens when each one becomes open to the decision of self-transformation. We may blame the government and the corrupt Filipinos but at the end of the day, it’s the decision within that matters on how we live our life. If everyone considers hating the acts of injustice, imprudence and corruption, national transformation follows. Yes it is easier said than done. But EDSA has shown that we can do something for ourselves.

One year old Nat with mama
and cousin on February 25, 1987

I wasn’t named Gringo, Cory, Fidel, Enrile, Epifanio or Ferdinand. I know someone who was named after a combination of two from those. After all, even if I could have been born on some other dates, I am still a proud Filipino because of EDSA. Because being a Filipino means loving freedom and being capable of change.